Our homes are a really interesting place when it comes to the communication methods we adopt. In fact have you ever stopped to think about the way you talk to the people you live with. How often do you make room for positive communication? Have you noticed that negative dialogue can often set in as we think about the day ahead or become tired from the day that was.
If your home is anything like mine, you won’t need to go back too far to recall one of these statements. X don’t wear that, X that’s too much butter or X don’t cut the veggies that way and so on. But you may need to go back further to recall a positive conversation you had with a family member.
Research suggests that a person’s confidence or lack there of can be a direct result of all this negative commentary they are exposed to. The impact is more pronounced in kids, as they crave positive reassurance that they are doing a good job at this thing called life.
As an adult we should be able to separate the two but the reality is our brains are trained to absorb and hold onto the negative feedback we receive as part of our flight or fight ancestry. In fact, research actually suggests that we need to hear 10 positive comments to every 1 negative. So if you have ever wondered why your partner can always recall that one fight, or that one time you didn’t put your toothbrush back in its right spot now you know. That is simply the way our brains are wired.
When I first heard this it certainly made me stop and think about the way I talk around my family. I’m trying to rephrase some of the things I say as it so so so important that we hear positive dialogue. Especially in those early years as our kids form their own view about themselves and their worth.
I also try and finish each day reminding my kids what their strengths are. To shift the pendulum even if it’s only a little bit!
The good thing though is life is a constant cycle of finding opportunities to improve ourselves which in turn can improve the lives of those around us. Here are 5 positive communication tips.
I hope I have inspired you to think about your own mindset and something I have said resonated with you. I encourage you to take the time to reflect, as changing the way we talk is not an easy thing. Especially if we have a habit of nagging. But if today you can turn that negative dialougue around just once. Ie rather than saying X that’s too much butter, you could say X well done for buttering your own toast. Or if your partner offers to cut the veggies, rather than letting him know that the veggies haven’t been cut to your liking. Simply thank him as by him cutting the veggies has freed up 5mins of your time to hopefully sit and be.
and as Positivity and Happiness are Contagious… Start your own Happiness ripple today!
Order your copy of Goodbye Busy, Hello Happy today Dismiss